Let That Be Enough
by BeBraveLive4Me
Summary: The diary of Sadie Harrison as she takes on Italy! I know there are tons of Sadie haters out there... But just take the fanfic for what it is. It takes place right after Should I Stay or Should I Go of season one so she's with Tommy and Jude's on tour.
1. Chapter 1

June 15, 2005

Dear Diary,

My first entry… What to say, what to say? Oh man… I feel like such a dork. I guess that's why I've never really done the journal thing before. I just thought it'd be a good time to start one, considering I'm in Italy!

That's right, Europe! Sadie Harrison is here for the summer and on the prowl! haha! Ok, so now I'm a dork for sure! haha! Well, I guess I should just write what I've done so far before I totally destroy my ego.

To tell you (which I guess it me, reading about the past) the truth, I haven't really done anything. I just got in yesterday, but I've been sleeping the jetlag off and trying to get used to the time difference. So that's boring Sadie… But it's better than getting into trouble on the first night! haha! There are plenty of other nights for that!

3 Sadie


	2. Chapter 2

June 18, 2005

Dear Diary,

I've already been neglecting this thing and it's only my second entry… It feels so weird to write "Dear Diary" or whatever. Maybe I should use some random name..?

But that can't be the only thing on my mind! haha! I mean, I've spent three awesome days in Italy already (and not just sleeping)! I've done some sightseeing and your average tourist routines, but I'm saving all the romantic things for when Tommy gets here…

And I bet you can guess where my mind just went! hehe! Only 32 days until he gets here!

Anyways! haha! Everything is so beautiful here! There are no words that could describe the difference in sunsets or beaches or landscapes… Hence why I've taken way too many random pictures. I might even need to make one scrapbook per week! Don't get me wrong. I love home too, there's just something about Rome that makes everything seem more magical.

I guess that's the real reason why I don't keep a diary when I'm not traveling. No, not my "magic-less" life or whatever (because it's far from that). I'm just not very good with words. I'm definitely no Jude when it comes to expressing myself…

Speaking of Jude, I still feel horrible about the way we left each other. I kinda knew she had a thing for him, but I thought we just argued over him because of our sisterly reputation for fighting. I honestly never knew that she loved him. I mean, I love him too… But I'd never do that to my own sister. We might fight sometimes and say we hate each other, but she's still my little sister.

3 Sadie


	3. Chapter 3

June 19, 2005

Dear Diary,

Two days in a row! That's a point for Sadie! haha! This journal definitely has dork written all over it… Let me try and cover it up with some of my cool.

Today I tried to blend in with the crowd. I think my blonde gave it away though (but we'll just keep that between us). Really, I think I fooled a few of the locals! At least, I hope I did. For all I know, they could've made fun of my Italian as soon as I turned away… Whatever.

I did meet this cute Italian guy though. He knew I was a tourist from the moment he saw me, but he was still sweet. He works in the bistro under the apartment I'm staying in. The building I'm in actually has tons of great little stores and restaurants surrounding it. Anyways, he gave me tips on what to do and where to go and all that good stuff! Ooh! And he makes a mean espresso! haha!

He asked me out for drinks tonight, but he's no Tommy… My heart belongs to a man named Tom Quincy, even if that means I'm gonna spend my nights in Italy scribbling on pieces of paper.

3 Sadie


	4. Chapter 4

June 21, 2005

Dear Diary,

It's like, 3:00 inn the morning right now! haha! Usuallly, I'd call home if I'm going to be awake at this hour because of the time difference and all, but just betweeen us gals, I'm a tad tipsssy! haha! I just might've spent the night dancing and drinking att a super hottt club!

I guess they don't usually let tourists in, but I wennt with bistro guy. Hey! Don't judge me! Nothing happpened between us except for some talking and dancing. Oh! And you can't forget about the driinking too! I would never do that to Tommmy though! He's sweet (bistro guy), so I don't mind chillling with him, but he's no Quincy.

Gosh! It's so freakin' hottt in here right now!

Maybe I will give Jude a call since I don't plan on sleeeping anytime soon… Or Tommy. Calling him is always nice… I don't knoww.

And now that watching myself write iss making me nauseas… Peace out, Italy!

3 Sadie


	5. Chapter 5

June 23, 2005

Dear Diary,

I'm starting to get a little homesick… Italy is great, but I've only got on friend here. I don't even know if I should consider him a friend, but he's the only person I've talked to more than once and doesn't work in my building. And yes, I am talking about the bistro guy… I don't think I've even told you his name is Luca. Yeah… That's about it.

But all my friends and family are still in Canada. Granted I do get calls from Mom everyday to make sure I'm eating and everything! haha! She tends to worry a lot… My dad calls too, but he's not so much about the worries. He just wants to make sure I'm having fun. He doesn't care all that much if I'm wearing clean panties… Awkward! haha! And I got a postcard from Jude today. She's in the states and it seems like she's loving it. I believe what she said is, "Performing is the best feeling, Sadie. And imagine having that feeling every night." I never thought I could miss my sister this much, but I do.

And of course, there's Tommy… Gosh, I mish him so much. I really can't wait until he gets here! He'll be like a breath of fresh air. I mean, we talk on the phone when we can, but I can tell he's really stressed. Hopefully this trip will be a nice little break for him. He deserves it for sure. And I love hearing his voice before I go to sleep or when I wake up, but I miss those beautiful blue eyes of his. Spending time in Italy with my guy… Nothing really seems much better than that.

Well, home sounds pretty good too… But I have a feeling that having Tommy here with fix things. Things are always better with Tom Quincy around.

3 Sadie

P.S. 27 days left!


	6. Chapter 6

June 25, 2005

Dear Diary,

Things have been pretty chill lately. I spent yesterday in a park writing postcards to everyone. I even sent one to Jamie! haha! Knowing our relationship, that was extra funny, but whatever. Neighbor boys need love too (which I hear from Mom, he might be getting from Jude… Apparently they've moved past friends..?).

Today I went to the beach. I think I've got myself a pretty nice tan! haha! But the water… The water was amazing. I've never seen waves that color before, but I guess that's the beauty of the Tyrrheanian Sea. It was really perfect. Not too hot, not too cold, and absolutely gorgeous. Don't worry, I took tons of pictures! It's a good thing I was wearing one of my cutest bikinis! And I might've even gotten some pictures with beach babes… hehe!

These last two days were practically perfect… Keyword: practically. No words from the boyfriend… I know that sounds stupid. I mean, I'm a hot young woman in Italy! I shouldn't be tied down by a guy… But these days, I feel more and more like he's THE guy.

3 Sadie


	7. Chapter 7

June 26, 2005

Dear Diary,

So, my day started off pretty simple. I just planned on hanging out around town, maybe doing a little shopping. I did stay in town, but no shopping. I actually stayed in the same place the entire day.

I was just gonna stop for lunch in the bistro, but Luca was working and we started talking. His accent is so cute, I don't have the heart to tell him I understand Italian! haha! But it's nice to know what him and the other guy working there say about me…

Where was I..?

Oh yeah! So, we were talking about what I've been doing here and my other plans while I'm here. He said that all of it sounds good (since most of my plans were from his advice anyways), but there's something else I have to do. He said I should spend a few days in Florence. It would be really stupid to spend my entire trip in Rome, not that I think about it. I mean, even with the tours I've been on and random day trips, it's not really experiencing Italy.

So Luca started to help me plan a trip to Florence! He said he has family up there we can stay with, so we can go up for a couple of days without worrying about hotel or anything. And transportation should be easy because there's a train that goes from Rome to Florence. It's sorta a long roadtrip, so I'm glad there's a train. I mean, even if there wasn't, with everything we planned, it definitely seems worth it.

I guess it probably seems weird for me to take off with some guy I just met… But he really is a nice guy. And as for listening to him talk to his friend about me, he's been a complete gentleman. As crazy as it might sound, I do trust him. I think this Florence trip will be fun. We're gonna head out in a few days, so yay!

3 Sadie


	8. Chapter 8

June 30, 2005

Dear Diary,

I'm so exhausted… It's been an extremely long day! Luca and I left town at about 8:00 this morning. We took the scenic route on his motorcycle and got to the train station at 9:30 and waited for our 10:00 bus. Once we got to Florence, it was noon.

The train ride was kinda crazy. It was extremely crowded and either everyone was cranky, or people nowadays just aren't very polite. Luca and I couldn't even find seats together, so he let me take a seat while he just stood for two hours. I tried to offer him my spots, but he didn't want it or want to leave me alone with the rude people.

As soon as we got in, we decided to get some lunch. We walked to this tiny little pizza parlor. It was adorable! And definitely some of the best pizza I've ever eaten! Yum!

Since we were already in that part of town, we looked around some. I guess it's yet another place where tourists aren't usually welcome… I'm so glad I have Luca!

Anyways, that journey lasted for a couple of hours and a delicious serving of gelato! haha! Yum again! Then we decided to get out of there before we completely wear ourselves out.

So, Luca rented a Vespa and we came to his aunt's house. She's incredibly nice and her house is so cute! I feel bad for taking the guest room while Luca's sleeping outside on the couch. With that and the train thing, I guess he's just a genuine gentleman.

But I really can't wait to get started full on tomorrow! Exploring Florence the way Luca planned should be amazing. The way he described it just makes me more anxious to experience it! I'm so excited! But I better go to sleep so I'm fully rested for tomorrow! haha!

3 Sadie


	9. Chapter 9

July 1, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was absolutely amazing! Man, the way I saw Florence really opened my eyes! I owe Luca sooo much!

We started out with this awesome lunch. I guess Luca woke up early and while his aunt Adrienne and I were sleeping, he made tons of food. Waffles and eggs and fresh bruit salad and the list goes on. I think my thighs might've cried at the mere sight of the food… But it definitely was delicious!

Adrienne had an appointment after we ate, so she had to leave. She's a photographer, and an amazing one from what I can tell. It's too bad she didn't get to spend the day with us though. She seems so awesome! Cool like a free spirit! Plus, Luca and I had a super great time!

He knew this park we could go to, so we hiked there. I really have no idea why this park isn't always crowded or on every tourist map known to Florence. It was absolutely gorgeous. It had the best view of the city. It was… I don't know. I guess all I could really say there was "wow".

If that wasn't awesome enough, there were carriage rides around the park! We only went on a short ride to the other end of the park, but it was still great. Even the horses are more beautiful in Italy! That's how crazy it is! haha!

On our way back, I remember telling Luca that I want to go back there before we leave. He just kinda laughed. And with that adorable accent of his, he told me, "the best is yet to come." And the look in his eye when he said that… My gosh! I have no idea…

Ooh! Tommy's calling! I guess I'll just cut this one short and write some more later!

3 Sadie


	10. Chapter 10

July 2, 2005

Dear Diary,

It took make awhile today for me to enjoy myself… Ok, so I didn't enjoy myself. Why was I such a downer today? Ironically, the same reason I find myself incredibly happy at times… That's right, kiddies! Tom Quincy.

He called last night and I just couldn't stop gushing about Florence… Well, that's not what got us fighting. We started fighting because I mentioned Luca a few too many times in my Florence adventures.

I tried to apologize and explain that I was only brining him up because he's the one showing me around, but that just made it even worse. I guess when I told Tommy I was going to Florence, I forgot to mention Lucas was going to be my traveling partner. And not just that I'm going around with some guy, but that I'm going around with some guy I hardly know.

And since it's completely my fault for not mentioning it earlier or considering that Tommy might react this way, I feel horrible. I mean, Tommy has no reason to not trust me. I love him and Lucas is only a friend. But I would've acted the exact same way if Tommy went anywhere with another girl. Hell, I might even act like that when he's around Jude sometimes.

I don't know. I guess when it comes down to it, he just sounded jealous and worried. And I really hate making him feel any way that doesn't somehow mean happy. I just felt… I don't' know. I guess I could just hear the disappointment in his voice and it kills me. I don't even think I can call him again, knowing that I'm not really worthy of him. He might not even want to come and see me anymore…

Sadie


	11. Chapter 11

July 3, 2005

Dear Diary,

I couldn't sleep last night. I just kept on thinking about Tommy and I just got more and more depressed. I even started crying in the shower this morning. And that was great because I'm pretty sure Luca and Adrienne could hear me. I mean, as soon as I got out, Adrienne knocked on my door to see if I was okay. Then when I cam out of my room, Luca asked if I felt better.

Then, during breakfast, Cranky Sadie was being a giant jerk to Luca. I mean, I know it's not his fault for what happened between me and Tommy, but it was just the only way I felt like I could stay true to Tommy. Like being mean to Luca would make up for all the time I've spent with him behind Tommy's back. It sounds stupid, but I don't know… It is stupid.

I guess both of them could tell I was giving Luca the cold shoulder, so Adrienne and I went out without him. We talked tons and I explained to her why I was acting that way. I even went in full detail of my relationship with Tommy since he became Jude's producer. She completely understood and told me not to force anything. My heart will tell me where to go.

It sounds kinda corny or whatever, but something about the way she said it made me feel better. It was like a reminder that fate has it's way with things. We're predestined in the way your heart belongs to a certain someone in the world. The love is always there waiting… Just that thought made me start to smile and have fun again.

We took some pictures in the Boboli Gardens too. She said she'll make me a portfolio with those pictures for free. I told her she didn't have to, but she said, "the beauty of Florence and the beauty of Sadie Harrison were meant for each other." She's way too sweet. I guess it just runs in the family.

Until tomorrow, Diary…

3 Sadie


	12. Chapter 12

July 4, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today was yet another great day. We started off with spinach and mushroom omelets. Might not sound too good, but my tummy must disagree! haha! And breakfast was even better because I apologized to Luca for my attitude the day before. Being a jerk is hard on a girl's conscience, so it was nice to let that go. There's someone else that I should apologize to, but… Yeah. We're just not gonna go there. I need to enjoy myself, so he is not going to be the topic of discussion.

Anyways, today was more of an educational day out. Luca and Adrienne took me out to see some of the more traditional sights. We hit the Academia Gallery and went to some of the larger local churches.

The Academia Gallery… Oh man. It was so amazing. I've never experienced art that way. Everything just felt so timeless. I mean, standing in a roomful of masterpieces is just an emotion overload… The emotion that artists had while making these things and the emotion it brings to the observer is just so much. And I thought it'd be great to experience it with an artist like Adrienne, but Luca! My gosh! The guy's like a freakin' poet when he really feels something for a piece.

And as for the churches..? haha! I thought it sounded kinda weird to be checking out churches too, but it was actually really cool. The stained glass motifs were amazing. I mean, they're just windows for the most part! But to be that detailed and beautiful with such mundane objects… I guess that's just the glory of Italy.

Since we were in town, we went to this tiny little pasta house. I'm definitely loving the little family owned restaurants. They just seem so much more authentic. And they're definitely friendlier. More common tourists stops, it's like they hate tourists even more. It's just nice to witness some genuine Italian hospitality.

Ciao!

3 Sadie


	13. Chapter 13

July 5, 2005

Dear Diary,

Ok, so usually I write all my entries at night so I can reflect on my fabulous day… But I must reflect now on the hour or two I've been awake for. What am I so eager? Because something great happened and I'm actually happy! Just plain happy! hehe!

What's got Sadie smiling at 7:00 in the morning? Tom Quincy! hehe! He called… I guess he hasn't been able to sleep much either. His work load, plus us fighting, I guess it all got to him. So, he called and woke me up. But I really don't mind hearing his voice first thing in the morning. Especially considering that I didn't think he would be the one to call me, but more like the other way around.

We kinda just made awkward small talk for half an hour. I mean, as long as I've known Tommy, talking to him has never felt that weird. But he felt it to because finally he was like, "This is stupid. I'm sorry." And I didn't think he should be the one apologizing, so I apologized. But he didn't think it was my fault either… So after going back and forth a few times, we decided that our fight was stupid and it was no one's fault.

So then we talked for like, another half an hour after our apologies. He's still planning to meet me in Rome, so I'm excited to get back. He said he has a surprise for me! hehe! Yays!!! I love surprises!

And we're also going to work on being more honest with each other. Well, it's not really like we lie to each other, it's just that we don't talk much. And when we do talk, we don't really go into detail. So we're going to try and talk more…? I guess we really do just need to get to know each other better. We have a connection, we just need to develop it to make it more stable.

Anyways, I should go shower and get ready to head out.

Ciao!

3 Sadie

P.S. 15 days left!!! hehe!


	14. Chapter 14

July 5, 2005

Dear Diary,

Ok, so I already blabbed about my morning… But now I need some time to brag about my awesome day! haha!

We spent the day on a boat in the Arno River, away from the busier towns. It was great! I got some more time to work on my tan, Adrienne took tons of pictures, and Luca… I'm not really sure what he was doing… haha! He was steering the boat for the most part. And even when he wasn't, he just kinda kept to himself in the back with a notebook. I think he was sketching.

We watched the sunset while we had a picnic dinner. I've never seen a sunset like that. Seriously, the entire sky was just gold. It was breathtaking. Luca said that if I loved the sunset tonight, that tomorrow would be even better.

Tomorrow night's going to be sad… The last night in Florence… Gosh. I don't know! It'll be nice to go back to Rome too…

3 Sadie


	15. Chapter 15

July 6, 2005

Dear Diary,

Ok, I'm like… I don't even know how to describe it…. Frantic? I'm frantic?! Gosh! I don't know… Maybe I should just start from the beginning. Gosh dang it! I don't even know where the beginning is! And now I'm crying because I'm so confused!!! Ok, I just… Ugh! I need to get some things out so I won't feel so horrible and jumpy.

I had this great day with Luca. We went into town and hit these awesome little jewelry shops and boutiques. It was like, the entire town was a chain of Sadie-esque shopping delights. Of course, I bought tons of stuff for myself. I just couldn't resist. I might just have to eat bread and water for the next week or two with my freshly bare wallet. But my goodies were definitely worth it.

But that's not my point. When it got later, Luca basically rushed me out of the shopping spree. We went to this bridge overlooking the Arno River. Tongs of other people were there, but the scenery was too beautiful to mind the crowds. Standing on the Ponte Vecchio and looking out at the golden sunset over the soft blue-green current… That's a sight that would get to anyone.

I guess it got to Luca good. First, he just kinda put his arm around my waist and huddled closer. I don't know what's wrong with me, I guess I just blamed the crowds for us being pushed together. But when he put his hand on top of mine, that definitely sent up red flags. I tried to pull away subtly, but he grabbed my hand in his. so, that freaked me out a little, but he slipped this cute bracelet onto my wrist. It had these gorgeous pink and purple crystals on it, and I guess while I was staring at it, I totally forgot Luca and I were holding hands.

Then all of a freakin' sudden, he pulls me closer by the hand and I land in his arms and on his lips!!!

That is one GIANT no no! I'm with Tommy! And I'm happy with him! I just don't understand how I could be that stupid and weak to let that happen!

Tommy was already pissed enough about Luca… This might really ruin things. I don't know what I'm going to tell him… Or if I'll even tell him anything.

Sadie

P.S. I ran away crying and called for a cab.


	16. Chapter 16

July 8, 2005

Dear Diary,

So, I'm back in Rome now. Yesterday was tons of fun traveling along with Luca too (that was sarcasm if you didn't already know). Why was it oh so awesome?!

Well, I didn't say one word to him. I tried to keep my distance from him, but he was pretty adamant on sticking by my side. I mean, he knows I'm with Tommy, and he freakin' kissed me! What's up with that?!? Even worse that that, he didn't care that I didn't want to talk to him. So, basically, he talked to me while I tried to ignore him. The last thing he said to me was as we were getting off of the train. He said, "I'm sorry for making you angry, but I'm not sorry for kissing you." And that's where I got into my cab and got out of there as quickly as possible.

The silent treatment usually works better when everyone decides to be silent and doesn't say stuff that'll get stuck in a girl's head.

What am I supposed to do? I mean, Tommy called last night and he totally knew something was wrong. He sounded really worried and kept asking if I was alright. I just told him I was tired from traveling and I missed him. All that was true, I just left out the part about me swapping spit with the cute Italian guy he's already jealous of.

I just want to know what I'm supposed to do!

Sadie


	17. Chapter 17

July 10, 2005

Dear Diary,

Apparently, avoiding the bistro is extremely hard to do if I try to leave my building. And that's super ironic considering that I always thought the architecture of the place was so beautiful. Now, I just think it's stupid to have so many windows and be in the middle of the village. I don't want him to know I'm purposely avoiding him!

I just don't know what that kiss meant to him… And he really is a nice guy! I just don't want to hurt his feelings… I don't want anyone to get hurt.

Also meaning I don't want Tommy to freak out on me. He could either get pissed at me for letting it happen and technically cheating on him (even though I didn't start the kiss and it wasn't my intention to start ANYTHING). Or, he could just get plain mad at Luca and want to pound o him. I guess Tommy could want to do both…

That is, if Tommy reacts to this situation. It might just be me getting hurt… I mean, what if Tommy doesn't care enough about me to react in any way..? Like, if he just brushes it off of his shoulder because he doesn't care to be exclusive with me. I'm not worth getting angry or upset about… Or even worse, if Tommy just ends things completely…

It looks like whatever happens, someone's going to get hurt. I just don't know who I'd rather have suffer…

Sadie


	18. Chapter 18

July 13, 2005

Dear Diary,

One week until he gets here… I'm surprised he's even coming still! No, I didn't tell him what happened… It's more like I've been avoiding the subject altogether. I think we honestly talked about the weather one day. That's how bad I've been at ignoring the truth.

It's so stupid too! I mean, I'm so freaked out about losing Tommy that I'm pushing him away! M logic is getting so screwed up that even I can't understand it anymore!

Seriously… I haven't had a decent night's sleep, eaten much of anything, or even really left my room since Florence. I just with I never went! Then maybe instead of hoping Tommy doesn't hate me, I could be hoping he loves me again.

Because I love him…

Sadie.


	19. Chapter 19

July 14, 2005

Dear Diary,

Sorry for the super ugly/messy handwriting. I've got to make this quick! Why? Because Tommy is still sleeping, and I want to this stuff down before he wakes up.

Mr. Quincy showed up on my doorstep last night… A WEEK EARLY! I thought I was going to have more time to think things through, but I was wrong! He moved his trip up because he was worried about me…

That's good, right? People get worried because they care. And if he cares, the doesn't hate me yet! UGH! I had to use the word "yet"…

Anyways, I guess the jet lad didn't his him right away, so we went for a walk. I felt a little better just being with him, but that fear of the kiss coming up kept creeping up on me. He even wanted to stop by the bistro to meet Luca and have some gelato. I was definitely quick to protest that one. And I'm pretty sure Luca saw us outside (Tommy trying to go in, and me pulling him away)…

Luckily, I know how to make Tommy think with his other head and I got him to go back up to my room… Gosh. That would've been so bad… Freakin' Tommy's first night in town, and he learns about the kiss from Luca… That would've been such a disaster, I can't even imagine it.

I still don't know what to say to him though! I was kinda hoping that seeing him would help me find the words, but it's just making it so much harder. I can't just tell him that I kissed someone else when all I want to do it tell Tommy how much I love him. And things were so great last night, that I didn't want to ruin anything. Maybe I just shouldn't tell him..?

Tommy's moving! I better get back in bed!

3 Sadie


	20. Chapter 20

July 15, 2005

Dear Diary,

Okay, so Tommy is making it super hard to write. Don't get me wrong… I love that he's making it hard, because that means we're spending tons of time together.

Yesterday, we did the Trevi Fountain at sunset and it was so beautiful! It was absolutely amazing, and I'm glad I save that for Tommy. Romantic spots in Rome probably aren't so great to visit solo.

Just plain walking around with him is great. It probably sounds totally corny, but everything is so much better with him. Walking down the street is romantic and sweet instead of just the best way for cheap transportation. It just makes me realize how much I honestly missed having him around.

And today I think we're going to visit the Sistine Chapel. We're also gonna try for the Spanish Steps if we have time.

Oh! And it's so cute! We've been taking the normal tourist pictures of each other, getting others to take us together when we can. I just don't really push Tommy into taking pictures because I know he's usually incredibly camera shy. But he's being so awesome! We've taken tons of pictures! Even those face close ups when one of us is holding the camera! haha! I love those! We all know I'm a giant camera whore, and it's so awesome that he's going along with it!

What the heck? Someone just knocked on the door… It's like, 6:00 in the morning! I mean, the knock wasn't loud enough to wake anyone up, but who would be at my door at this time?!

I'm gonna see what it is, then get back into my lovely boyfriend's arms!

Ciao!

3 Sadie


	21. Chapter 21

July 16, 2005

Dear Diary,

I found this at my door yesterday… Well, I guess it's kinda still today, just technically tomorrow… Whatever. It's like, 3:00AM, and I snuck out of bed to get rid of this thing. The person at my door yesterday morning was Luca. I didn't see him, but he left me this letter. I've just been trying to keep if out of Tommy's sight all day. He woke up right as I finished reading it, and I've been trying to keep it under wraps ever since. I think it'll be safest in here.

3 Sadie


	22. Chapter 22

_July 15, 2005_

_Dearest Sadie, _

_I apologize so greatly for the fact that we cannot be friends any longer. I hoped that we could be more than that, but you do not feel the same way. And I see that your man friend is here now. I wish the two of you the best of luck. He has a wonderful girl in his life. I only wish she could be a part of mine as well._

_You are one in a million, Sadie. You've made me smile from Rome to Florence, and you're worth more than Italy itself. Part of me wishes we never kissed so I could still spend time with you. But the other part is glad I could be so close to heaven, even for a second. To love in an instant will always overpower the regret of never loving at all._

_I hope your man treats you the best, for that is what you deserve. You are a precious gem, Sadie Harrison. You should never be treated any less._

_Best of luck and best of love,_

_Luca._


	23. Chapter 23

July 17, 2005

Dear Diary,

Another early morning entry! Not too early this time though. I've realized that Tommy practically lives for sleeping in. That's perfectly fine by me! Especially since all that time (other than me sneaking out to update on life), I get to spend in his arms.

Gosh! I love him… But I don't think he's ready to hear that yet…

And I really think that I don't need to tell him about Luca. Things have just been going so great! And even though I feel bad about some things, Luca basically said goodbye in that letter. I don't need to worry about him anymore and Tommy and I can just be happy! Yays for that!

UGH! Ok, that wasn't very convincing. I totally feel like crap about all of this. I'm just too freakin' chicken to tell him! Is that bad..? Oh the guilt! I just want to be good with everyone!

There's a reason we can't have world peace! People make idiotic mistakes and are too cowards to do anything about it!

Sadie.


	24. Chapter 24

July 19, 2005

Dear Diary,

Of course… Right after I "realize" Tommy sleeps in when he can, he decides to wake up before I do. Not only that, but he disappears! I woke up half an hour later than I usually would. And then I find a rose on Tommy's vacant pillow! It's cute and extremely sweet, but I want my Tommy!

Well, I guess while he's out, I'll journal what's happened lately.

Yesterday was a great day. we stayed in the room the whole day, and those are all the details I'm going to give! hehe!

The one glitch in our day… We talked about going to the bistro for a quick dinner… Yeah. I didn't think it was such a good idea, and Tommy got mad. He kept on asking me all these questions about why I didn't want to go. He wanted to know why I hadn't introduced him to Luca or talked much about Florence. I tried to convince him I just didn't want to eat there, but I don't think it worked. We didn't go, but I think he's still curious.

That probably would've been the perfect time to just tell him… I should've told him! Ok, if he brings it up again, I promise I'll tell him… I need to just do it already.

I'm gonna hit the shower!

Ciao,

3 Sadie


	25. Chapter 25

_July 19, 2005_

_Sadie,_

_You should've told me. I didn't want to believe it was true. I actually planned on coming back to confront you, but I found your journal on the bed. I'm not one to pry, but I figured if you were already lying to me, what was the chance you'd tell me the truth? My best chance at figuring out what really went down in Florence was by reading your thoughts._

_I've skimmed through your diary, Sadie. I've read anything I noticed was about Luca, even that letter he sent you, and… I don't even know what to say to you. I thought about everything I could say on my way back from the bistro, but the words are all gone._

_I wanted to tell you I'd fight for you because I love you. But now I can't trust you. I can't even face you._

_I was ready to give you my heart, Sadie._

_But from what you wrote about Luca, I think it's pretty obvious how you feel. I'll be gone by the time you read this, so I hope you enjoy Italy. I'm sorry my words aren't as eloquent as his, but my mind's already pretty shot for the day. I set out to treat you to breakfast in bed, and ended up having some guy tell me more about my girlfriend than I was ever going to know._

_I'll see you around._

_Tommy_


	26. Chapter 26

July 19, 2005

Dear Diary,

What the hell just happened?!?!? I get out of the shower and find my journal bookmarked with a red rose to a not so great note from Tommy! That is not he way I imagined the first time he'd tell me he loves me! If he read my entries, he should know I love him back!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I need to go find him!


	27. Chapter 27

July 20, 2005

Dear Diary,

Good news: I found him. Bad news: he was beyond hurt.

I know I said I liked how the bistro was, then I said I hated it, and now I'm pretty neutral. It's a good thing because as I was sprinting out of my building, I saw Tommy through all those freakin' windows. The bad is that I think that's why Tommy decided to go inside in the first place… Because he saw someone through those same windows. He had Lucas pinned up against the counter and I'm pretty sure he was cutting off his air supply. Yeah, because Lucas wheezed a lot and gasped for air with a purple face once I got Tommy off of him.

And how could little Sadie Harrison get a raging Tom Quincy off of the guy? Me trying to pull him off was hopeless (even though I did try). Screaming and pleading wasn't getting me anywhere either. So, like an idiot with a diary in hand, I decided to make myself as completely vulnerable as possible. I read some of my Tommy-centric entries out loud…

I'm pretty sure that scared him a little… I don't think he knew how much I love him, but now it's all out in the open.

I don't know. We talked tons about it at dinner last night. Well, half of dinner since the fist half was silent. He said he's not ready to get back to where we were. I think it's because he doesn't trust me. Honestly, I don't blame him… He said he wants us to stay together, but the distance might be good when he goes back home. I don't think the distance sounds good at all, but I'll do what he wants.

And last night, he also slept on my floor in the living room. So it's kinda like he did leave… But he's still around..? I don't know. I love how I can manage to screw everything up. We'll see what today has in store for us.

Sadie.


	28. Chapter 28

July 20, 2005

Dear Diary,

Okay! So my entry this morning was pretty depressing… Things aren't exactly super fantastic now, but they aren't so black and gloomy.

We just hung out today. Of course, we went out of our way to avoid the bistro… And we weren't exactly too friend with each other. But I think he did smile at once point. I smiled too, that's for sure.

It's really crazy, but even when things aren't so great between us, just being with Tommy makes me feel better. Does that sound stupid after everything we've been through? I don't know. It even sounds stupid to me, so what would other people think? Honestly, I don't really care what people thing when it comes to my relationship with Tommy, but I do wonder sometimes. I just want us to be us again…

Gosh! I'm such a girl… That stupid last paragraph I wrote is making me cry! The more I tell myself not to cry, the more the tears come out! Why the hell am I still writing?!?


	29. Chapter 29

July 21, 2005

Dear Diary,

Sadie is now much better. So much so that she's writing in third person! haha!

So, after I started bawling like a little girl last night, Tommy came into my room. The only reason I was writing is because I though he was asleep. This journal almost ruined me and Tommy (even though I guess it did get him back too), so I tucked it under my pillow when he came into the room. But he knew exactly what I was doing. He pulled it back out and I cried a little more.

He asked me what was wrong and I just couldn't answer him. I was crying too hard, and even if I wasn't, I couldn't find the words. So, he asked for my permission to read what I wrote. I said yes and then he read it and then he hugged me.

It was a really good hug too. He told me not to cry and that we'd be okay. We can't just go back to where we were, but we're still together. We even cuddled to sleep, which was really nice.

And today we went shopping! haha! I've never really realized it until today, but Tommy loves his sunglasses! He bought two pairs, but he looked good in all like, thirty he tried on!

Ooh! And I tried on some of these super gorgeous dresses! I can't afford like, any of them, and I wouldn't have anywhere to wear them to, but it was fun to play dress up! And Tommy had that look in his eye, so I knew he liked them too! hehe! You know the look…

We were just complete goofs today, and it was fun!

3 Sadie


	30. Chapter 30

July 22, 2005

Dear Diary,

This could turn out really bad… My boyfriend is missing once again with a mysterious, "be right back" note. I learned from that last time, yeah? I just hope that doesn't mean today will be filled with crazy drama.

I feel like things are finally getting better! Like, honestly! Sleeping in his arms and then having a fun day, and then last night… It's like we've started all over again, and it's great! There isn't really all that pressure and seriousness.

I'm not saying that I'm not confused about where our feelings are at, because I was definitely confused about that at the beginning and all the way through… And of course I'm not saying that makes things with Luca alright either. That entire trip to Florence was just a giant mistake and I regret ever hurting Tommy for it. Even if it might have changed things between me and Tommy in a good way, I still don't think it should've ever gone down that way.

Tommy's back!

3 Sadie


	31. Chapter 31

July 23, 2005

Dear diary,

Last night was amazing. My fabulous boyfriend planned out the entire day for us and… Wow! There was just tons of cuddling and pretty-ness and all that good stuff! Seriously, I don't know how to describe how great it was!

So, when Tommy disappeared, he came back with chocolate covered strawberries and cappuccinos. And there was this huge gift box he couldn't let me open yet… But that comes later. Yeah, that was definitely a good way to start the morning! It was yummy and led to other fun activities… hehe! And then we had lunch on the roof of my building. The roof! It was just an amazing view and Tommy put tons of flowers around our table and stuff too! I guess he did that in the morning too.

Anyways! The best part was after some more bedroom exercise… hehe! I showered and came out to find the big gift box on the bed! So, naturally, I run over to it and try to take a peek, but Tommy catches me from behind and tickles me for like, ten minutes. I guess he knows that I could never resist a present, so it was like, the perfect trap. Then he finally let's me open the damn box!

What was in the box? The bestest dress in the entire world! It was one of the dresses I tried on the other day, and he bought it for me! And I have to admit that I acted like a complete girl and cried a little bit… But it was so cute and sweet! Tommy and I went out to dinner and it was perfect. We ate at this fancy little restaurant and then danced in the street to a violin player. Cobblestone and heels aren't that great, but the stars and romance made up for it! It was seriously magical…

Then comes the sad news that he wanted to make his LAST night in Italy special… Yeah. He's leaving in a few hours…. I guess I better make the best of those hours!

3 Sadie


	32. Chapter 32

July 26, 2005

Dear Diary,

Okay… Italy without Tommy officially sucks! I was homesick and missed him tons before he even came, but knowing how great it was with him here only made it worse! And I really don't want to be one of those girls that is all weepy over a guy and not enjoying herself. I mean, I'm in freakin' Italy!

Man, that sounds familiar… I just don't want to give Tommy another reason to not trust me…

Maybe I could join a tour group! Yeah, I know I told my parents tour groups are for boring old people, but maybe I need to try my hand at boring. I can't get in trouble that way…

3 Sadie


	33. Chapter 33

July 28, 2005

Dear Diary,

Okay, so I did the tour thingy yesterday. It was probably as much fun as sharing the living room with Jude and Jamie during a Kung Fu movie marathon. In simpler terms, it was a nightmare. We walked so slow I thought I was going to fall sleep. And it was like history class with all the info they were throwing at us. And again, I felt like I was going to fall asleep!

Ooh! Ewww…. I think a few of my tourmates were also wearing diapers…

And needed to be changed….

Sadie.

P.S. I miss him…


	34. Chapter 34

July 31, 2005

Dear Diary,

So today was the first time I've heard from Tommy since he left… I guess he wasn't just making excuses to leave. G Major really is crazy busy right now. I still don't think they need him as much as I need him, but it's fine. I know how hard he has worked to get this far. Plus, I know ho much he loves the music.

I guess that means he loves his job more than he loves me… Wow… I never thought of that until right now… That hurts.

So all my happy from Tommy's call is officially gone. I wish it wasn't, but it kinda sucks when you realize you're not number one in your boy's world…

Sadie.


	35. Chapter 35

August 3, 2005

Dear Diary,

I want to go home… I'm seriously so freakin' miserable! I have no friends here, I haven't talked to my family in weeks, and I haven't talked to my boyfriend either. I've seen the sites in Rome and I just don't see the point in staying here any longer.

I'm just being a lazy crapbag anyways. I might as well do that at home. I can hang out with Mom until Jude gets back.

Whoa… I just resolved to hang out with my mom and sister over spending time in Europe… I guess I really do hate it here.

Sadie.


	36. Chapter 36

August 5, 2005

Dear Diary,

Okay, so I'm not as depressed, but European life still blows. Pigging out on gelato and catching up on chick flicks isn't so bad though. I mean, if you looked at me, you'd thing I'm a complete slob.. But I can do that here because it's half way across the world from where I'll be in a few weeks.

I can tough it out a few more weeks, especially if Tommy keeps texting me like these past few days. I only get a few a day, and it isn't like holding a real conversation, but it's better than not hearing from him for a week.

But a week after I get back I need to register for my classes, and then I got another week before they actually start. Hopefully that down time will be some quality Quincy time. I could definitely use it! It's like, you don't know what you've got until it's gone… Even though he's not really gone… I guess I'm actually the one that's one, so I wonder if he knows what he's got..?

3 Sadie


	37. Chapter 37

August 8, 2005

Dear Diary,

I just got an e-mail from just! Well, it's more entertaining than that…

The first e-mail was from Speiderman and the other guys. They were pretending to be Just and made up some crap about giving pictures of me to the bus driver to help him with the lonely nights… Yuck! haha! They also said something about a newfound foot fetish, but I as still stuck on the bus driver thing.

Anyways! Next thing I know, Just sent out an apology e-mail to almost her entire address book! She just said something about "never leaving the e-mail open when sharing a tour bus with immature idiots"… haha!

But then I got yet another one! Just felt bad for being too busy to write and all that stuff. She said she felt like a bad sister for not keeping in touch very well this summer. In my reply, I told her it's not her fault. She's honestly busy, and e-ailing works both ways. Both of s could be better sisters to each other… And the Harrison girls bond just a tad more!

3 Sadie


	38. Chapter 38

August 9, 2005

Dear Diary,

Jude's e-mail yesterday put me in a better mood for sure. So, when I woke up this morning, I was feeling pretty awesome and I thought I'd go for an early jog in the park.

Guess who else thought it'd be a good idea to take a jog in the park on his day off?

Yuppers! Luca… It was definitely strange… Like, I pretended not to see him, even though I know he saw me. Then I felt really guilty, so I eventually took another lap and said hi to him. Yeah, that definitely won the awkward conversation award. We made small talk like we were old friends, but then he asked about Tommy. I told him things were okay and then started running again.

It was just weird. But the cool thing is that I don't really feel so bad. Like, I still hate that I hurt Tommy, and I'm still homesick, but it just feels like some things are getting better.

3 Sadie.


End file.
